Do you remember the very first time you felt insecure about your appearance? Was it a comment that was made? A comparison to someone else? An image that you saw? Maybe a sibling or a classmate? Whatever it was, I betcha you remember it! Society makes it near impossible to feel 100% confident in our own skin all of the time, and if you do, I want to know your secret(s) please?? We compare ourselves and we say this persons pretty or that guy is a hot dude, but how often do we compliment ourselves? If we are tall we wish we were shorter, if we are short we want to be taller, if we are skinny we get called "string bean" if we are bigger we get called "fat" or chunky" or "big boned"...."oh she isn't fat shes just big boned" If we have brown eyes we want green, if we have green we want blue...Its a never ending cycle, the list goes on and on. Where does this come from? Did people 100 years ago have the same worries, or was life easier then in that aspect? I have often wondered this. I am an 80's baby and grew up in the 90's. We had teen magazines then and shows like Saved by the Bell and Beverly Hills 90210. Yes, typically the stars of those shows were considered "beautiful" at least according to societies standards but somehow looking back things seemed easier then on us teens and preteens. Perhaps its because everything was slightly more PG then it is now. We didn't have cell phones or ipads or laptops. We played outside and went for bike rides and had to be inside the house when the streetlights came on in the evening. Yes there were bad people in the world but for the most part, kids were safe in the neighbourhood. Kids were allowed to just be kids. Now tweens are bombarded with so many different things. Social media images, magazines, electronic devices, all with just the swipe of a finger and all I can do is shake my head. Everywhere I look there are images that in my days would have been considered XXX-rated. It makes me sad.
I love food, and food loves me. I love smelling food, thinking about food, seeing food, imagining creative presentations for plates, cooking food, trying different foods, asking other people what they like. Naturally this also means I love to eat. As a kid I loved to eat. My passion for food wasn't as strong as it is now, but somewhere in there it existed and looking back it was more evident then anyone realized. In my mom's kitchen I used to dress up and perform my own cooking shows. There was a show on tv called Wok with Yan, the host was Stephan Yan. He was my absolute FAV!!! I watched every episode I could. I would pretend I was Stephen Yan in my kitchen and talk to the "audience" as I made some concoction on the stove (that was turned off of course) with a pot of water and salt and pepper! I know cheeser right! Just slightly shameful. I loved sweets and I loved fruit and veggies. Homemade was best made to me! Not much has changed although I no longer talk to an audience when cooking(at least not when Ryan is home) and my concoctions are a little more elaborate then water and salt and pepper, and on a good day I am allowed to have the heat on the stove....In all seriousness though I have always loved food. I have NEVER been a diet girl. Friends would say they were going on a diet and my initial silent thought would always be "but whyyyyyyyyyyyy" With this being said I was also never considered overweight. My body changed throughout the years, I carried some "babyfat" with me until I was about 14 and then I slimmed down and basically weighed the same amount until I hit about 33. People would always make comments they thought were innocent to me like "oh your so tiny" "skinny minnie" "nothing to ya" and I would giggle and smile it off. This is should be a compliment right? Well the second you put on a few more pounds, like say 5; people stop saying that, your jeans feel slightly snug and shirts that were once baggy now become to embarrassingly tight to wear. All of a sudden an insecurity sets in..."Am I fat, should I go on a diet?" Well that question last all of 15 minutes and then it gets thrown out the window and stomped on. I would never ever last on a diet. Rules about eating, who am I kidding. I am no quitter that's for sure, so why start something I know with upmost confidence I would never finish?? This is not to say that I shove my face full of food every second of everyday, but I eat when I am hungry and I eat what my body wants. I nourish with healthy fruits and veggies every single day, and I eat lean meats most days, although yes I do love steak here and there. I will admit to overeating my carbs but that's a whole other blog, but overall I have a fairly balanced diet. I also treat myself to snacks. Sometimes these are healthy snacks, like nuts or seeds in proper portions but sometimes I have a chocolate bar, or a piece of cake and I never say "just a small slice please" If I feel like it, I eat it! So diet is out the window for me and people don't call me tiny anymore? Big deal. I am healthy, I am a healthy weight for my height, yes I could benefit from a few sit ups but who has the time with all the eating there is to do? This is not to say I don't have insecurities I do, believe me and just ask Ryan, I do! I have my days where nothing fits right, nothing looks good and I would rather just stay home, but overall I am in a good place.
To think this all started because people used to call me tiny....no insults or derogatory terms about my weight they just called me tiny and then they stopped. SO I have made it my mission to try not to talk to anyone about their appearance. Especially not young ones. Instead of telling them they are beautiful lets tell them they are smart, or funny or wise or witty. Lets focus on things that have nothing to do with our outsides and build people up on the inside so they can shine on the outside. We are all made different, its what makes humans so beautiful. Its our flaws that set us apart, makes us different. Lets embrace them and try to love the skin we are in and love others for the skin they are in. Lets teach the young that appearance is such a small part of who we are. Lets learn and teach to love ourselves so we can fully love others the way we were always intended to do. Enjoy your passions and take part in others, who knows you might even learn something about yourself doing it. I challenge you to compliment yourself once a day for 60 days straight and to compliment someone else everyday for 60 days straight and see how you feel at the end of it. Start today....xoxoxo